


The Zucchini's Revenge

by MistyBeethoven



Series: Strange Couchfellows [14]
Category: John Wick (Movies)
Genre: Doctors, Food Poisoning, Gen, Hospitals, Revenge, Revenge Gone Awry, Robin Lord Taylor character, Waiting Rooms, zucchini - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 09:09:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19292662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: John Wick and the Administrator go to the hospital.





	The Zucchini's Revenge

**Author's Note:**

  * For [asuralucier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/asuralucier/gifts).



> The fourteenth entry in a time diverting and admittedly stupid series.
> 
> Sequel to: Iguana Out of Here!
> 
> Once again thanks and any praise to the dazzling asuralucier who pondered the ramifications of two men eating a zucchini that had been stuck up a vacuum hose.
> 
> Thanks to my sis for helping me out with a certain phrase and sentence! Love you, sis! :D <3

The Administrator sat in the hospital's waiting room, shivering and feeling like he was going to die. He had spent the last few hours vomitting and doubted that his stomach had any more contents to expel. Occasionally the man in the glasses would throw a nervous glance at John Wick who was sitting on the opposite side of the waiting room; the hitman refused to meet his eyes and seemed very upset.

"Look, I'm _sorry_!" the Administrator shouted out past the heads of the divergent and curious crowd with their own waiting ailments.

"You _should_ be!" John Wick called back.

The pencil pusher shivered but not from the previous reason: it was always a bad idea to give an assassin food poisoning.

* * *

To Wick's annoyance they had both been called in to the same examination room since they were both roommates, had arrived at the same time and had reported the same illness. He still refused to look at the Administrator who was getting desperate for some reassurance the man wouldn't off him for having made him spend the last twelve hours, first in the bathroom and then in a crowded waiting room.

"I said I'm sorry," the High Table worker complained as he pulled his blanket around him. He was sitting on a chair while the assassin was hogging the examination table. "What more do you want?"

"I want to know what compelled you to feed us a salad you made from a shot up zucchini you got out of a vacuum hose?" John asked.

The Administrator squirmed.

"Especially after you said yourself you didn't want to blow into the hose?"

The bureaucrat cringed.

"There were bullets in it. Not to mention dog fur. Besides that is was pretty good."

The assassin pulled his own blanket around himself and looked down at the hospital floor. He looked miserable and the man with the piercings left his chair to hop onto the examining table beside his roommate

"I did it on purpose," he confessed.

John Wick turned to glare at him. "You fed me a dirty zuchinni salad on _purpose_?"

The Administrator nodded. "I wanted revenge after you had made me clean up the mess you had made."

"Pretty lousy revenge scheme when you're going through it too," the hitman criticized.

"I _know_ ," the other man sighed. "I felt bad at the last minute and ate it too; I thought we should go at the same time."

John Wick thought the man was very sweet but also wished he hadn't been. With only one washroom they had both discovered they really _couldn't_ go at the same time; they had spent a fair amount of time almost killing each other on the race to get to it first.

The assassin looked down at the pale, shaking and sad pencil pusher by his side and fought an urge to hug him. The man had so many piercings all over his body Wick didn't want to get poked and require a tetanus shot on top of it all. He really hated needles.

Instead he only said, "It's okay."

"Good," the Administrator said in relief.

That worry solved, the bureaucrat reflected on John Wick's "under the weather" state. It had been horrid. He had moaned more times than when they had simulated sexual noises to fool their perverted neighbour. It was as if the great Baba Yaga believed that being the skilled assassin he was his body should be immune to bacteria and germs and not revolt against him.

"How did your wife put up with you when you were sick anyway? You are the whiniest sick man I have ever seen."

"I don't know. She'd mysteriously vanish everytime I would so much as sneeze," Wick recalled.

A Doctor soon arrived. After a brief examination he informed them that they had food poisoning. Both men frowned; they had spent six hours in a waiting room to discover something they had known the whole time.

"What did you two men eat?"

The assassin and the bureaucrat looked at each other. They turned to look at the Doctor again.

"Hot dog," they uttered in unison.

The Physician seemed to believe it until John Wick coughed up a furball and bullet several seconds later.


End file.
